Talk the walk

There’s very little worse I think, than sick and uneasy feeling that comes from returning to my shelter bubbling over with enthusiasm and ideas, only to have it met with if not open hostility, bemused apathy. I hadn’t realised how quashed I’d become in these last few months. That’s dangerous thinking; they’re pretty extremist ideas Glad you had fun, but the emails circulating and the meeting we had concluded that we’re on the right track entirely and we shouldn’t take it seriously.

These aren’t bad people – I love nearly all of them, except the ones that I don’t. Just a normal workplace. But how do you, a single lone voice who had her mind blown by inspirational ideas, even begin to relay the breadth and knowledge presented during those three days? Me – whose primary strengths lay in playing Guitar Hero and drinking red wine?

There’s a culture here to support each other and not to rock the boat. Which is great for working relationships. Everyone just follows the rule and gets on with it. But there’s no challenge, no curiosity, no dynamic-ness. Apathy. It’s just a job. Come – do your job – go home. Dedication? Certainly. But no drive to self-develop.

I feel sick to hear that Mike Arms said we’re a decade and a half behind; Nathan Winograd, two decades. We have so far to go! It seems impossible…

But I guess this is where it starts. I will not be afraid. I will speak frankly, but sensitively. Beat my drum, softly at first, but it will get louder every day. I may feel a lone voice right now, but our message is important so I will have the courage to speak it.

Starting now.