July 16, 2008Comments are closed.attitude, shelter procedure
Are you tired of having the same conversations with people over and over as to why they should change? Are you sick of them taking your good advice and ignoring it? Does your group try to bring new initiatives to the community, only to have them fail due to lack of support?
From the brilliantly titled People Don’t Hate Change, They Hate How You’re Trying to Change Them comes this gem of advice;
If you believe that people hate change and that it is your job to change them, they will hate it. If you believe that people thrive on change and that your job is to unleash it, you will tap into a limitless source of ingenuity, energy and drive that will allow you to consistently take your big ideas into big results.
People don’t hate change, they hate being told they should change. That means they, by default, hate you and your message.
So how do you get people to support you and your ideals? When you’re filled with boundless enthusiasm and faced with a resistant public, how do you get people to start listening to you?
I scolded a lady recently for asking for advice on how to breed her staffy. I told her all the reasons she shouldn’t, gave her statistic, case studies, the lot. I thought I’d handled it impeccably… she felt like I had attacked her and withdrew from the discussion. Her dog will now be bred regardless and she thinks much, much less of rescue as a whole.
It’s really easy when you know a lot about your cause, to think it’s just a matter of time until everyone comes around to your way of thinking if you could just get them to listen. Trouble is, this approach automatically puts you at odds with the other person. You’re busy trying to impart knowledge onto them, when the truth is, you should be listening so they give you insight into what motivates them. You should be having a conversation.
Had I just asked her “why are you breeding your dog” I could have started a dialogue. Did she not know about desexing? Did she want to make money? Did she think that her dog was nice? or did she just like puppies?
How can you change someone’s behaviour if you don’t take the time to find out why it is they do what they do? If I had asked, I could have found her reasons and just simply addressed those. Instead I bombarded her with information that I thought was important… and she quite rightfully thought I was overbearing and arrogant. My message meant nothing to her personally.
When people come to us we tend to give them a 100 point plan to be a successful owner – because we have knowledge in so many areas and we think we should be aiming for a perfect solution.
Trouble is, that leaves anyone who doesn’t have the passion to implement a 100 point plan feeling like you judge them a failure. And no one wants to deal with someone who makes them feel like a failure.
Forget perfection. Choose the top three things you want your adopters to do, then make all your plans, promotions, initiatives and organisation goals reflect those three.
The first point is obviously going to be; choosing a rescue pet in the first place.
Consider each adopter who does these three things an absolute success. And then tell them so.
By focusing on making people feel successful, you’ll engage and empower them to be more interested in their pets’ care. A likely side effect will be that you get more interest in your other 97 less critical pet care points.
What can your organisation do to be more successful in your community? Well, have you ever asked them?
If you have a team of volunteers, have you ever asked them to spread the word on your behalf? At their work, school and to their friends and family? Ideas that are spread by individuals are much more effective than anything your organisation can do.
Do you ask the people who visit your organisation how they rate their experience? If you’re to compete with the other sources of pets available, then you have to know whether you’re providing great, good or completely rubbish service, to rate your effectiveness.
Do you know who your community leaders are? It might be your local council, your local ranger services, local businesses or other non-profit groups. Note: If you find that you’re at odds with a lot of these influential people, then it’s going to dramatically effect your ability to get results – find a way to get over it.
Working as part of your community allows you to build relationships that makes peoples’ behaviour change naturally, rather than trying to force it upon them.
Recognising that we can’t change people “because we think they should”, gives us the freedom to start listening to them and then working on programs to seduce them into our way of thinking. By giving up on the idea of perfection, we allow ourselves to stop sitting in judgment and instead begin congratulating our adopters for their successes – empowering them to care for their pets. By engaging people in our community and asking them what they need from us, we become more relevant.
Impact is not about how successful, knowledgeable and inspired we are, it’s about how we affect those same traits in others. Change is possible.
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Edited to add: Michael Kanazawa (author of the article “People Don’t Hate Change, They Hate How You’re Trying to Change Them) contacted me about this post. I’m stoked obviously!
He says: I love the way you interpreted my work for your situation and for other organizations trying to engage the public. I’ve not spent much time thinking about those connections, but it is great!
Thanks Mike – you’ve made my month! :)
